Once again, it has been a while.

I still find myself feeling a bit lost. I know Him whom I have believed, but what it looks like to live that out on this earth in 2022 has me a bit befuddled.

What to do and not to do…what it should look like…what my life should look like…had me very overwhelmed and feeling lost.

Then I took a trip overseas to see my kids. Something unexpected happened just a few days into my trip.

It was in the unexpected that I found myself feeling alone, scared, and helpless.

It was in the unexpected that I felt abandoned by the One who has told me for years He would always be there for me.

And now…over five weeks after returning home…the jet lag has gone away, the culture shock has subsided, but the feeling of abandonment has sunk it’s gnarly claws into my soul and I have yet to pry them off.

I always hoped and prayed I would be like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego…in a time of trial I would know what my God was capable of and say…

”If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” Daniel 3:17-18

But I didn’t say that. And now I struggle with knowing where to go from here.

I am beginning to see that my faith walk doesn’t look the way I thought it would. Sometimes it comes easy, but other times it’s a fight.

Not a fight as in having the faith that God CAN, but having the faith that His truth stands even when every fiber of my being is screaming and feeling like something different is going on.

Even if I am burning in the fire.

I enjoy the type of teaching and writing where God has shown me something really cool, and I get to share it with others. But it seems that this journey is going to be a bit different.

I have no profound or cool insight to share with you, but I have a journey.

I’m pretty sure it will be messy, sometimes three steps forward will be followed by five steps back, and lots of twists and turns.

But, I’m willing to take the journey because even more than the gnarly claws of abandonment that grip my soul…there is a truth that holds more strongly…He is worth it.

Many of you are on a similar journey.

Your unexpected event might be an illness, or a loss, or a frustration. Whatever it is, I know that we were given one another as a holy gift.

In our brokenness we need encouraged, and in our brokenness we bring encouragement.

I mentioned at the beginning of this that I still felt lost with how to live this life of faith out in 2022. That is still true.

But I think my unexpected event has shown me that sometimes when you feel lost, instead of staying where you are, you need to seek to be found.